It has been an interesting few months since I last shared how I have been doing. I was in a depression for quite a while and was having a hard time forcing myself to go places and do things. For example, I skipped a lot of church because I just couldn’t make myself go (thankfully, I can watch the services online). I even had a few days where I was crying for no specific reason.
I did talk to my psychiatrist and we increased one of my meds. She originally suggested increasing the antidepressant, but I worried about doing that because of the bipolar 2 dx, so we increased the mood stabilizer instead. (I see her through an autism clinic, so she had forgotten that I also had the bipolar 2 dx, or she probably wouldn’t have made the first suggestion.)
About three weeks ago, I woke up on a Sunday and my first thought was, I would like to go to church today. It has been the same the last two Sundays as well, even this past Sunday after I stayed up most of the night scrolling TikTok. Normally that would be a reason for me to skip, but I knew that I wanted to go. I’m glad I went because the service was great and the sermon was powerful. I even had successful conversations with a couple of people!
I am feeling a bit upset today because Saturday was my 30-year anniversary with my company and no one has acknowledged it in any way. The same thing happened with my 25th, but I chalked that up to COVID; at the time, I had been cut to part-time and was thankful to still have a job.
On a good note, I am starting to look forward to a trip my son and I are taking in September to visit my family in Illinois. I was feeling very anxious about how I would handle it given how depressed I have been, but now it feels much more manageable. Hopefully, I will still feel that way when the time comes.
In So Many Words 